Perception can definitely be a real sonuvagun. One day things might look all light and airy and the very next day, it can mean the end of the world. I suppose if I just believe that things have their right timing and their right placement, I can start each day on a positive note. I believe being alive is a gift, even in its darkest days. So, here’s to the blessings of today that are waiting for me to experience them.
I began to get excited about writing again via a small freelance job for an online website. It felt good to be creative and to get paid for it. I believed it was part of my journey and took the job graciously and hopeful. There’s nothing wrong with some extra cash for doing something that feels so beneficial to my inner being. However, being the human being that I am, I became a bit nervous after not hearing anything for a few days and thought I would pull some tarot cards to see what the hold up was. I felt much better after doing so, even though it was not the best spread. I would indeed get to write some stuff for this page. However, there would be a bump, some advice not taken and things wouldn’t go the way I initially thought. The future, however, shown brightly and I ended my anxious thoughts there.
After my first story was accepted as is, I figured I had this thing in the bag. I continued to ignore my spiritual self though and pressed on. I became a bit more on edge as I wrote about parts of my life that continue to affect me deeply. I convinced myself that this was actually therapeutic as I cried myself through the second piece, which was centered on some death’s I had experienced over the last few years. I turned it in and it was not accepted as is, although it was remedied simply. My gut feeling began to grow and I knew that this was not for me. However, the extra cash aspect of it charmed me into writing a third story.
Today, I received the email from the editor that I knew was coming. A breather before the next piece. At first, rejection sank in and then, slowly I remembered the line that propelled my inner strength back up through my shattered ego. She said, “This does not mean you’re not a great writer.” Something about that reminded me that I didn’t need any validation or her opinion to take away my writing skills or give them back. And, there was something to that. So, I thanked the Universe for it’s protection once again and I got on this computer and I set up this page and here I am: ready to share with you who I am.